This module serves you a Promise of a random FML.

Usage:

require('random_fml')().then(fml => console.log(fml))

Output:

Today, my girlfriend received a scam email about her great uncle dying and leaving her money. She not only believed it, but she also used my credit card details for it. FML

The promise thus resolves to a string that is the very FML you are looking for.

Here is how you could use random_fml to set up a simple irc-bot that responds to "?fml".

const fml = require('random_fml')
const irc = require('irc')

const client = new irc.Client('irc.some_irc_server.net', 'botnick', {
	channels: ['#some_channel']
})
.addListener('message', function (from, to, message) {
	if(/^\?fml/.test(message)) {
		fml().then(fml => client.say(to, fml))
		return
	}
})